Teacher Recommendation Etiquette

Writing a letter of recommendation is a big responsibility for teachers! They know that their letters offer the admissions committee important insight into what students are like in the classroom, and can play a vital role in strengthening any application. 

Because of this, teachers take recommendation-writing seriously, and you should too! When it comes to requesting a letter, it’s important to be thoughtful and polite. A quick “hey, write my recommendation letter please” won’t cut it! 

Keep reading to learn the most polite ways to request a recommendation. Not only will your etiquette make a good impression on your teacher, it will also help ensure a high-quality letter.

Don’t make assumptions

Contrary to popular belief, a teacher is NOT required to write you a letter of recommendation. So don’t automatically assume they will. You have to officially ask, and you should definitely pop the question BEFORE you list the teacher as a recommender on your college application form. After all, the last thing you want to do is make your teacher feel pressured to write you a letter and create an awkward situation for both of you. 

Request your recommendation early

Teachers are some of the busiest people around! In addition to teaching and planning and grading, they’re likely being inundated with dozens of other requests for recommendation letters. Be respectful of your teacher’s time by asking them early. And by early, we mean by the spring of your junior year. Trust us, your teacher will greatly appreciate having the summer break to draft your letter. If you wait until the last minute, you could run the risk of the teacher declining to write on your behalf - or even worse- submitting a generic recommendation!

Ask in the right place, at the right time

Be thoughtful about when and where you ask for a letter of recommendation. If possible, talk to your teacher face-to-face. It’s more personal that way, and you won’t have to worry if your message got lost in their inbox. Also, timing is everything! Running up to your teacher right before class starts to pose such a big question is NOT a good idea. Neither is raising your hand and interrupting class with your request (yes, we’ve actually seen that happen!). Instead, plan to visit your teacher at a time when their classroom isn’t overrun with students and they’ll actually have a few minutes to chat. Not sure when they’re available? Email and ask them.

If you’re not able to meet with your teacher in-person, write them a polite email. See below for tips on how to phrase your request. 

Give them an out

Teachers love to help their students; they really do! In most cases, they’ll be happy to write a letter of recommendation. But there are times when a teacher may want to say no–and that’s a good thing! If a teacher feels like they might not be able to write you the strongest letter of recommendation, it’s important that they have an out.

To create space to give your teacher the easiest out possible, carefully phrase your request. Instead of bluntly asking “will you write me a recommendation,” shape your question like this: “Do you think you know me well enough to write me a supportive letter of recommendation?” By focusing on how well the teacher knows you, you create a polite exit strategy for your teacher if they need it while taking the pressure off of both of you. 

Provide necessary information

Once your teacher agrees to write you a letter of recommendation, ask them what they need from you. Some teachers require students to fill out an information form, and if that’s the case, complete it and return it to your teacher in a timely manner. Don’t make them have to track you down. That’s bad etiquette! 

If your teacher doesn’t give you a form, create one of your own. Write your teacher a short letter or fact sheet that highlights specific details about your personal strengths, interests, and performance in their class. This is a great way to help shape your letter without being pushy or demanding. Plus, you’ll make the writing process much easier for your teacher. We help all of our ongoing clients navigate this process and create top-quality content, but if you aren’t working with us, consider asking a trusted adult for help. You want to make sure to be accurate and extremely specific about the characteristics that describe your best self, with lots of supporting anecdotes.

Show your appreciation

It probably goes without saying, but don’t forget to thank your teacher for agreeing to write you a recommendation. Even more importantly, don’t forget to thank them AFTER they submit the recommendation, too. A lot of time and thought goes into these letters, and your teacher will appreciate you acknowledging their hard work. 

Finally, when you start receiving your acceptance letters, share the good news with your recommenders. They’ve been an important part of your college application process, and it’s good manners to make them part of the celebration as well. 

5 Questions to Ask Your Ninth Grader Right Now

Do you know what you’ll be doing 1200 days from now? Well, if you’re the parent of a current ninth grader, you’ll probably be sitting at your child’s high school graduation. Although thoughts of caps and gowns and college may seem light years away, it’s never too early to start planning for the future. In fact, ninth grade is a critical time to set your student up for college success. 

But how do you know if your ninth grader is on the path to success? Ask! Today we’re sharing 5 questions that will help you ‘check in’ with your freshman and create important college-building conversations. 

1. How are you feeling about your classes?

What did you get on that test? Did you do your homework? Well, have you asked your teacher for help? Let’s face it, sometimes parenting can feel more like project management. You may find yourself inquiring into due dates and scores just to stay ‘in the know.’ While this information is certainly handy, it might not tell you the whole academic story about your ninth grader.

Rather than framing questions that only result in a yes, no or eye roll, try a more open-ended framework. “How are you feeling about x…” is a great way to create a conversation and help your child reflect on the academic transition to high school. For example, a simple “how are you feeling about your homework load” could lead to productive discussions about time management, the need for a math tutor, or changes to after-school commitments.

2. What’s sparking your interest?

Ninth grade is a discovery year, as students begin to take new electives and get involved with activities that may not have been available to them in middle school. Check in with your child to see which subjects, clubs, and causes are engaging them. And then encourage them to explore these areas even more! For example, if your child enjoys talking about politics in their government class, suggest that they try out the debate team or attend a Model U.N. meeting.

3. How are you getting to know your teachers?

We know, we know. Some teenagers don’t even like having conversations with their parents, let alone with adults at school. However, establishing strong relationships with teachers is extremely important. Not only are these relationships proven to increase a student’s academic performance, they can be downright inspirational. We hear stories all the time from students who credit particular high school teachers for their career paths and leadership skills. 

Building connections is a great skill for students to develop early on in high school. Talk to your ninth grader about habits that can make for strong teacher relationships: participating in class, asking questions, reaching out for help, visiting teachers during study halls and free periods. These small efforts to engage go a long way!

4. What’s on your high school bucket list?

Ask a ninth grader about their goals for the next three and half years, and you’ll probably get a bewildered look in return--or an abrupt reply concerning grades. But there’s much more to the high school experience than just GPAs. Help your child start to think about the ways in which they want to get involved in the community. Have they always wanted to take center stage in a school play or learn how to play lacrosse? Can they see themselves running for student council or maybe creating a fundraiser to help their favorite cause? We love the bucket list question because it can help students get out of their comfort zones and picture the many possibilities for their high school experience.

5. What would you like to do this summer?

This may seem like a strange question to ask when we are just coming up on Thanksgiving, but hear us out. Summer is an ideal time for rising sophomores to explore their interests and begin developing the skills they’ll need for college. Luckily, there are hundreds of opportunities for 15 year olds to choose from: international excursions, enrichment courses, volunteer projects, and yes, even some internships. 

Start exploring options with your child now. Many summer programs will begin accepting applications as early as December. If you’re not sure where to look, check out the DC College Counseling Database. We regularly update our site with exciting summer experience opportunities. 

Weekly Update: September 23

BIGGEST COLLEGE-RELATED NEWS OF THE WEEK

FLORIDA A&M STUDENTS SUE THE STATE OF FLORIDA

Six students from Florida A&M, an HBCU in Tallahassee, FL, are suing the state of Florida for what they say is unequal funding and resources. As a public institution, Florida A&M receives state funding, but the students allege that FAMU does not receive fair funding compared to other state schools, like Florida State. The lawsuit is another example of how the issue of underfunding at HBCUs is becoming more and more salient across the country.

BOMB THREAT AT NORTHEASTERN UNIVERSITY

Students at Northeastern were instructed to shelter in place last night while police addressed a bomb threat at the Curry Student Center. And Northeastern wasn’t the only school facing threats this week - a University of Utah student was arrested on Wednesday after she threatened to detonate the nuclear reactor located on campus if Utah’s football team lost to San Diego State last Saturday. If you were wondering, Utah won the game 35-7. 

YESHIVA UNIVERSITY LGBTQ CLUB FINDS A COMPROMISE

We shared a couple of weeks ago about Yeshiva University’s attempt to bring a case to the Supreme Court against a Pride club on campus, arguing that recognizing the club would be against the university’s religious affiliation. The Supreme Court did not block the lower court’s order, meaning Yeshiva is still required to recognize the club. In response, Yeshiva put all undergraduate club activities on hold.

On Wednesday, the YU Pride Alliance agreed to a stay of the original court order in order to allow other student clubs to resume activities on campus.

BEST ARTICLES OF THE WEEK

Many families don’t realize when they initially start working with us that helping students ask for and receive excellent letters of recommendation is a core part of our process! We help all of our ongoing clients with everything from which teachers to the best way to phrase the question to preparing information for an awesome recommendation. Even if you’re not an ongoing client, though, you can pick up some tips from Colleen in this U.S. News article!  

With all the news about college football picking up this week (another sign of fall!), we found this WSJ article about college football eligibility an interesting read. 

A study published in Nature, the premier scientific journal, found that 20% of U.S. colleges and universities produce 80% of tenured college professors. In fact, one in eight professors got their degrees from Berkeley, Harvard, Michigan, Stanford, or Wisconsin. The study demonstrates that there is unequal access to faculty jobs and a lack of intellectual diversity among college professors. It also proves that as with many graduate degrees, including law and business, where you get your Ph.D. matters!

OFFICE HAPPENINGS

We highly recommend that students register for the College Fair on Sunday, October 16 at GMU’s EagleBank Arena. This is a great way to demonstrate interest and chat with representatives from more than 250 colleges and universities, including service academies. Check it out if you can!

We hope you have a fantastic weekend!

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5 Tips for Securing Strong Teacher Recommendations

There are over 1,700 reasons why it’s important to secure strong teacher recommendations for your college application. How did we come up with such a large figure? Well, that’s the current number of colleges and universities that are test-optional or test blind. 

Teacher recommendations have always been an important element of a college application, but with so many schools changing their testing policies in response to the pandemic and seeing record numbers of applications as a result, recommendation letters are more important than ever! Yes, even for students who plan to submit test scores! Letters provide admissions committees with important insights into your academic performance, as well as your personal qualities and overall attitude. A well-written recommendation will tell a story that your GPA (and scores) cannot.

So how do you secure a strong teacher recommendation? After all, you can’t control what a teacher writes about you. Or can you? There are actually specific steps a student can take to ensure two (sometimes three) quality recommendation letters, even in the age of online learning and hybrid classes. 

1. Be Present

Be present. Sounds easy, right? But we’re not just talking about being physically present in the classroom or via Zoom. One of the best ways to ensure strong recommendations is to be an active and engaged student. Participate in discussions and ask questions. This will show your teacher that you’re curious, you take initiative, and you do your work. Pitch in when it comes time for group projects, and don’t be afraid to take the lead when there’s an opportunity. If you’re struggling, reach out for help. And if you’re doing well, reach out anyway. You can strike up a conversation about the topics that interest you most in the class.

Being present is a habit you’ll want to establish early in your high school career. However, if you haven’t been as engaged as you’d like–perhaps because of the pandemic or shyness or a lack of confidence–you can start now. Make one conscious effort per day to engage, whether it’s raising your hand or staying after class to ask a question.

2. Build Connections

Investing in your classes is important, but so is creating connections and relationships within your school community. It’s much easier for you to request a recommendation if you feel comfortable with the teacher, and it’s much easier for them to write the letter if they have a connection with you.

We know that it can be challenging for some students to get to know their teachers, but there are plenty of small actions you can take. Say hello when you pass by teachers, and don’t be afraid to ask how they are doing. Visit teachers during their office hours or study halls, and consider coming to class a few minutes early. This is a great opportunity to strike up conversation and discover shared interests, like sports or music.  You can also join an extracurricular activity they are leading (but only if you’re actually interested in the activity). If you’re in an online or hybrid setting that limits your interactions with teachers, make use of Zoom chat boxes, email, and other forms of digital connection. Trust us, they will be thrilled to see you making the effort to become more than just a face behind the screen. 

3. Choose Recommenders Wisely

Before you start asking for recommendations, take some time to strategize. It’s not as simple as choosing your favorite teacher or the one who gave you the best grade. Think about teachers who can speak to your strengths, as well as your growth over time. It’s also important to pick recommenders who will offer different perspectives about your performance and qualities. Otherwise, you’ll end up with two repetitive letters. 

Subject matter is also a consideration. Ideally, one of your recommenders should connect to your area of interest. For example, if you’re applying as a business major, consider asking your math teacher to write one of your letters. 

Finally, do your best to pick current teachers who can reflect on who you are right now. As much as you might have loved your ninth grade history teacher, you’ve matured a lot (both academically and personally) since then.  We highly recommend trying to secure letters from junior year teachers. If this is truly not possible, it is okay to have a letter of recommendation from a sophomore year teacher that you will also have as a senior. Remember: sophomore year seems recent now, when it’s February of junior year, but the colleges will be reading these letters an entire year later! At that point, sophomore year is ancient history and your choice will raise a red flag about your relationships with junior year teachers.

4. Ask early…and politely give an out. Back off at the first sign of hesitation!

Be sure to secure your recommenders early, so your teacher has plenty of time to write a quality letter. We highly suggest asking for recommendations before the end of your junior year - after spring break is a great time. Many teachers limit the number of letters they write, so you want to make sure you secure a spot before the crowd rushes in during the fall semester of your senior year. 

Don’t just assume that a teacher will agree to write you a recommendation. Formally ask them, and in person if possible. We recommend using the wording: “Do you think you know me well enough to write me a supportive letter of recommendation?” This gives the teacher an out. If the teacher is in any way hesitant, they can decline with the excuse that they don’t know you well enough, and everyone can save face.

If there is any sign of hesitation at all, immediately abort the mission and find a new teacher! And certainly, never, ever argue with a teacher about this. Honestly, the kindest thing a teacher can do for a student is to show hesitation or decline to write a letter. This person is telling you in so many words that they are unable to write you a great letter … listen to that feedback! No letter is much better than a mediocre letter, which is basically the kiss of death to any college application.

5. Create a highlight reel

Regardless of how well your teacher knows you, they don’t know EVERYTHING. That’s why it’s extremely helpful to create a ‘highlight reel.’ Provide your recommender with information about your personal strengths, achievements, and interests. Of course you’ll  want to share highlights about your performance in their class, and the more specific you can be, the better!

Jog their memory about the cool project you spent months researching; the really challenging science labs you mastered; or the improvements you made to your study habits. And if the subject relates to your career interests or intended major, let your teacher know! It’s also a good idea to share your related involvements outside of the classroom, so your teacher has the ‘full picture’ and can speak to your contributions in other areas of school life that may relate to their subject matter.

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HOW WE HELP STUDENTS SECURE STRONG TEACHER RECOMMENDATIONS

As part of our college counseling services, we work closely with students to develop a strategy for teacher recommendations and set specific goals well before it’s time to actually ask the teachers. We check in on the teacher recommendation strategy throughout the year, and ultimately help students create ‘highlight reel’ narratives for each teacher through a multi-step process that begins with our customized questionnaires.

If you would like to learn more about our services or schedule a session, please visit our website.

Weekly Update: September 5

Can’t believe it’s Labor Day weekend! Hope everyone is enjoying and staying safe!

BIGGEST COLLEGE-RELATED NEWS OF THE WEEK

JUDGE ORDERS UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SYSTEM TO GO TEST-BLIND

We’ve been following along as more and more schools choose to make testing optional this cycle due to COVID-19, but this is a new one! Alameda County Superior Court Judge Brad Seligman ruled that the UC system is no longer allowed to consider ACT or SAT scores from applicants. 

The UC system had already adopted a test-optional policy, but this new ruling means that they will not consider scores at all - whether applicants want their scores considered or not. This is a test-blind policy - and you can learn more about test-optional vs. test-blind admissions in my blog post from April. Thanks to an awesome senior mom for being the first one to send this to me :)

MORE VARSITY BLUES

Yet another parent was charged in the Varsity Blues scandal this week. Yikes! If you haven’t already, you should check out the tell-all book that came out about the scandal earlier this summer.

FAFSA UPDATE

The 2021-2022 FAFSA opens on October 1 for Class of 2021 seniors, and it is better to fill it out sooner rather than later! The blog posts that I wrote last winter will be helpful for families deciding whether or not to apply, and I stand by my recommendation: If you don’t have financial need, don’t fill out the forms. I personally think that advice will be more sound than ever this coming fall, as colleges will look to make up budget shortfalls with full-pay applicants.

That said, one big caveat - if you have experienced a dramatic shift in finances recently as a result of COVID-19, the calculators likely won’t pick that up. In fact, we won’t see COVID-related changes reflected on the calculators for quite a while because of PPY. However, financial aid offices will still take other information into consideration when attempting to capture a holistic assessment of a family’s ability to pay. So I highly recommend filling out the FAFSA if you think there is any possible chance you may qualify, whether the calculator says you will or not. The people who I do not think should apply are the ones who know full well they won’t qualify but are wondering if they should “apply just to apply.”

FAUCI ASKS COLLEGES TO KEEP STUDENTS ON CAMPUS

We’ve been paying close attention to colleges changing their reopening plans because of COVID-19, and we’ve seen some schools like JMU, Notre Dame, and NC State open in person and then go remote due to outbreaks on campus. This week, Dr. Fauci urged colleges to keep infected students quarantined on campus, rather than sending students home due to outbreaks. This makes sense to protect the communities at home, but I also know a lot of parents who would prefer to have a sick child at home rather than quarantined in a dorm room! 

BEST ARTICLES OF THE WEEK

There’s no shortage of interesting college admissions articles out there (as you know from my weekly posts), but probably once every year or so I come across a piece that makes me really, really excited. It’s almost like I know while reading it for the first time that I’m going to keep coming back to it and referencing it for years.. and come on, who wouldn’t get excited about that?! #nerd (In case you are wondering, this was the last such article).

I came across the most recent "article of the year” about a week ago- just after I’d posted the last blog update - and here it is in the WSJ: “The Secrets of Elite College Admissions” by Jeff Selingo. Seriously - you need to read this article. It’s a teaser for the author’s upcoming book, which I have already pre-ordered!

There’s so much I want to say but I will limit myself to highlighting what I hope are your three greatest take-aways:

• An applicant’s activities must support their intended major. MUST. This is why our first or second meeting with every junior (or Late Start Senior) is spent ensuring alignment between the Common App activities section and the student’s intended major.

• Teacher letters of rec must provide specific, detailed information about how the candidate performed in the classroom. MUST. A glowing character reference will not cut it. Again, this is why we spend substantial time and effort helping our students provide their teachers with the right rec letter content.

• “Why this school” essays must demonstrate how the student’s interests fit with the school’s unique offerings. MUST! They cannot be generic and boilerplate. This is why we use our proprietary “ASC Method” for these essays - to help students rack up those LTE points!

The rest of this week’s articles may not be quite as interesting as that one, but I still have some others worth sharing!

This piece from the Washington Post reports on the interesting method that the University of Arizona has used to prevent coronavirus outbreaks on campus - wastewater testing. Hopefully, other schools will see the success at Arizona and use this method to get ahead of campus outbreaks, so we don’t have to see more students sent home. Pretty fascinating if you ask me!

I really feel for the students at JMU who have had to leave campus due to the outbreaks, and I hope that they are isolating and testing to keep their communities safe! This blog post offers a great read for daily coronavirus status updates in Virginia - especially as it relates to college campuses.

I’ve been posting a lot recently about the tension between students and administrators when it comes to who is to blame for coronavirus outbreaks on campus. This New York Times piece goes deeper into personal tensions for the students themselves. I don’t envy how tough it is for all of the students, even the socially responsible ones, to keep the peace on campus while keeping themselves safe. 

I have to say, amidst all the COVID-19 news, I love to read stories about safe ways to make the most of the college experience this fall! Along the same lines of the U Experience, which I posted about several weeks ago, I found this in-depth article about college “collab houses” really hopeful. Just something else to remind me how resilient, inventive, and adventurous our students are during this crazy year. 

OFFICE HAPPENINGS

Maybe it’s just a holdover from my own days in school (or working at a school!), but September always feels to me like a month of new beginnings. And even though it is still hot and humid here in DC, I’m already looking forward to fall. 

As I have mentioned before, we are continuing to transition from working primarily with our original Class of 2021 cohort to spending more time with our Late Start Seniors. I believe this past week we had four or five different students completely finish their applications, and we have a whole bunch more set to finish next week. Congratulations, guys!

I find it ironic that after years of meaning to do so, I finally documented the entire submission process last fall and of course Common App unexpectedly changed things up for the current cycle! I can’t be too frustrated, though, because they actually simplified it a lot. You don’t have to put in any of the information about the mailing address or email address - the only information that needs to be typed in is the credit card number. So all in all, it’s a much easier and faster process than in years past!

My sample account - I didn’t actually submit it, don’t worry!

If you are reading this and feeling overwhelmed - it’s not too late for help! Seniors who book a Meet & Greet within the next several weeks will likely be able to finish their applications by November 1!

Maximizing the High School Experience: A Teacher’s Perspective

Today’s post is brought to you by McClain Herman, one of our fantastic essay coaches!

High school: two words that ignite strong emotional reactions in adults everywhere.

For many of us, these words bring back memories of a carefree time. For others, high school may be associated with awkward school dances or that one teacher.

Today, however, for adults whose kids are quickly approaching the teenage years, the term high school can trigger a very different reaction. Anticipation. Anxiety. Confusion. Due to the constantly evolving nature of technology and advances in pedagogical theory, school looks much different today than it did 20 years ago. I have no doubt that these advancements, coupled with the fact that the college process becomes more competitive every year, contribute to any nervousness parents may feel as their children approach high school.

I’ve been fortunate to work both as an English teacher and an administrator at two very different local schools--a JK-12 independent school and a public high school. In my current position, I teach the most advanced level of English offered at my school, as well as general education English. What I’ve learned is that regardless of the type of school your child attends or the academic rigor of their classes, the recipe for success is largely the same. With the right habits, high school doesn’t have to be something your children get through. It can be something they actually enjoy.

Here are some suggestions to promote your child’s success in high school:

Create a routine. Especially if your child is taking a rigorous course load, transitioning from middle to high school, the workload can feel overwhelming. It is essential for students to create a consistent after-school routine to juggle their many academic and extracurricular demands. This will look different for each student. Most kids need a short break after school before diving back into school work. But the students I teach who struggle with procrastination and completing work lack a set schedule outside of school, and this often leads to working into the early morning hours. This obviously takes a toll on not only their academic records, but also their physical and mental health.

Discover and pursue interests. It’s not a coincidence that the most involved students in high school are also some of the most successful. Encourage your children to get involved with something they are truly passionate about (or to discover what that even is). Whether it’s sports, clubs, the arts, or student government, extracurricular involvement will enable them to form connections with their school beyond the classroom. Students who invest in their schools in this way often begin to care more about how they do in the classroom as well.

Self-advocate. Changes in best practices have led schools to offer many opportunities we simply weren’t afforded as students. These include the ability to ask for more time on assignments, and to retake or make corrections to assessments. Most teachers offer these supports, but in most cases, your child will have to ask for them. Many schools also build study hall time into their schedules for students to seek help from teachers.

Build relationships with teachers. I continually tell my students that they will catch more flies with honey than vinegar. This of course leads to laughter and that classic teen eye roll, but it’s true! Students who create a positive, respectful, and friendly rapport with the adults in the building reap the benefits, whether that means using their classroom as a quiet study space after school, getting extra help, or receiving glowing recommendations for leadership opportunities or even college.

Do things right the first time. I teach students who, feeling stressed about everything on their plates, often rush through reading or assignments just to get them done. While this can be tempting, even for adults, rushing through work often results in students having to redo their work or relearn concepts, and performing poorly on large assessments. Making sure their academic work is done right will actually save your child time in the long run, and make the learning stick.

After graduating from Clemson University, McClain began her career in education at Flint Hill School, where she worked in Upper School Admission and coached field hockey and lacrosse. McClain then graduated from George Mason University with a masters degree in Secondary Education English and Curriculum & Instruction, and began to work for Fairfax County Public Schools as an English teacher. Currently, she teaches IB English Literature II and English 11.

Future clients interested in more tips to help maximize the high school experience can book a Strategy Session here.

Current students interested in working with McClain on their college essays can make an appointment here.