Well, it’s week four of quarantine and I think the reality has started to set in for most families that we are in this for the long haul. I’m trying not to complain but wow, this has just been very hard for everyone! When we’re not stressing about the things we can’t control, like the economy, we’re stressing about the things we theoretically can control, like accidentally letting a microscopic germ inside the house from a cereal box that wasn’t sanitized enough!
One common theme I keep hearing from a lot of parents - whether my friends with young kids or my clients with teenagers - is that motivations are dwindling, everyone has cabin fever, and nobody wants to sit down and do what they are supposed to be doing. This is excellent timing (just kidding) given that FCPS is about to re-start next week after a month off!
I know from my work life that parental nagging is usually ineffective and most often just results in everyone fighting with each other. Children (and even teenagers, I promise!) naturally want to please, but it usually turns into a power struggle at home. So the more that parents can distance themselves from the “taskmaster” role, the more likely it is that the tasks will actually be completed… as long as there’s a different type of accountability structure in place. This is exactly where my team and I shine in the college admissions process and why we are so big on the constant follow-up.
So, I decided to practice what I preach to everyone else and stop with the power struggles. Keep in mind, my kids are very young, so it’s not like I really care whether they are formally learning or not. I am not sitting here and pretending we are formally homeschooling - we are definitely not. I have bigger fish to fry, like running a business in the middle of a global pandemic! But I do want them to have a structured day with as little screen time as possible.
Enter Kanban boards!
These can be used by anyone of any age. For adults (see mine below for today) - I use a very simplified version. If you use Trello or the boards setup in Asana, this will look familiar.
Starting out, I put my to-do list in the backlog section to the left. Note that I have chosen only to include one-time tasks, for my purposes. I don’t include things like “responding to email” or “following up after essay coach meetings,” since I do those all day long.
Then I move the tasks that absolutely needed to be completed today to the “To Do” section. I move a task into “Doing” while it’s in the process of completion and “Done” after it’s finished. I personally LOVE the visual reminder of what I’ve accomplished - or what I haven’t accomplished!
I handled it a little bit differently with my kids and attempted to color-code their tasks while giving them some choice. Everything orange (for my daughter) and yellow (for my son) was non-negotiable and needed to be completed. In the morning, they were able to select six of the pink/blue tasks of their choice to add to the agenda for the day. Some of the tasks didn’t apply to today - for example, there’s no girl scout meeting or sewing class. So we skipped that.
My son is only three and can’t read, so if I had more time I would probably have drawn a little picture or something on his tasks for him to understand what they mean instead of having to rely on an adult.
The idea is that THEY get to decide when and how they want to do everything, as long as everything is done properly and according to the task (so 30 min of independent reading really does need to be 30 min), but it can happen whenever. And once the tasks are done - screen time!
For my kids, I will move all the post-its back to the backlog for tomorrow - but for me, I will have a totally different set of tasks, so I just throw mine out at the end of the day and start fresh.
Note: While this is useful for anyone, it can be especially helpful for kids with ADHD or anxiety who need to know what’s ahead and/or have trouble completing tasks and/or focusing on an end goal.
If you are inspired to step on the Kanban bandwagon, the large post-its that stick to the wall are available for curbside pickup at the Office Depot in Reston - that was the only place anywhere near Vienna that had them in stock.
Stay healthy!