“We regret to inform you…” And with those five short words, you realize that a college or university has just denied you.
Yet while this news is never easy to hear, it doesn’t have to send you into a spiral of disappointment.
In the last installment of our Navigating College Decision News series, we’re sharing tips to help families transform a rejection notification into a hopeful future.
FEEL YOUR FEELINGS–FOR A LITTLE WHILE
It is perfectly normal to be sad, shocked, maybe even bitter when you receive a rejection letter. That’s okay! Take some time to acknowledge your disappointment and work through whatever you’re feeling, especially if the decision came from your dream school.
It’s also important to remember NOT to make any big decisions immediately after receiving your notification. Instead, take a few days to talk with your family, college counselor, and/or close friends who can help you process the news.
However, as much as it’s okay to mourn your rejection notification, don’t wallow in it for too long. You don’t want one disappointment to define the rest of your college admissions process, and you presumably have other great options to choose from.
ADOPT A NEW ATTITUDE
We know that it can be easy to get down on yourself after being denied. However, a rejection does NOT define your worth, nor is it an indicator that something is wrong with you. Try your best not to take the news too personally. Of course we know this is easier said than done, so let’s look at the numbers.
As we reported last week, college applications are a record high this admissions cycle. That means acceptances are at a record low, especially at highly selective schools. If you were a qualified candidate, your decision was likely just a result of the numbers game. These schools simply cannot accept everyone they’d like to accept, and many of the final decisions that differentiate candidates from one another are related to factors over which you have absolutely no control, like demographics.
Even though you are understandably disappointed, there’s good news. Just look in your acceptance pile! Instead of defining yourself by your rejection, concentrate on your acceptances as well as your achievements. After all, a rejection letter doesn’t take away from the hard work, growth, and progress you’ve experienced throughout high school.
Finally, we know that getting rejected might make you feel powerless, but there are actually a lot of choices you can make to regain control. And one of the biggest decisions is your attitude. You’re still going to go to college, and you’re still going to earn a degree. You’re also going to have a great four years–if you decide to start them off with a positive attitude.
RECONSIDER YOUR OPTIONS
Maybe you didn’t give a lot of thought to the schools that accepted you because you were really hoping to attend this one. Or perhaps you were waiting until you received all of your admissions news before you made a decision. Whatever, the case, we encourage you to consider (and reconsider) your options with your new attitude and a fresh perspective.
Why did I apply here in the first place? That’s the question to ask yourself as you think about the schools to which you’ve been accepted. They clearly had qualities you were looking for months ago, and reflecting on these specific characteristics can be helpful. In fact, if you previously identified non-negotiables in your college search or made a ‘wish list,’ now would be a good time to review the factors that are most important to you.
As tempting as it may be to compare every school to the one from which you’ve been denied, don’t! That will create a situation where you’re constantly searching for what a school doesn’t have rather than what it can offer you. Instead, stick to the positives, and view each school through your new lens. We also recommend talking to current students, visiting campus, and attending admitted student days to help you get more of an insider’s look. These extra steps can lead you to discover things you may have not recognized before.
P.S. There is another option we haven’t mentioned yet, and that involves appealing your rejection. Now before you get your hopes up, we have to give you a reality check:
Not every school allows appeals.
The chance of a successful appeal is slim.
You can’t appeal the decision just because you’re upset. You have to have a legitimate reason–and it better be good! In most cases, a legitimate reason would include reporting errors related to a student’s standardized test scores or academic record, or clerical omissions in the application file.
Before you seriously consider an appeal, speak with the admissions office and enlist the support of a college counselor. Again, we don’t typically recommend this route unless there is a major error outside the applicant’s control.
SUBMIT YOUR DEPOSIT–AND GET EXCITED!
Once you decide what school you’d like to attend, don’t look back! Formally accept your offer by submitting your deposit and begin to get excited about your future. To help embrace your decision and build some enthusiasm, you may want to connect with future classmates and/or attend an admitted students day.
Also, invest in some swag. No need to go to the bookstore when there are so many other cool retailers to check out! A few of our favorites include Hillflint, 47Brand, Hype and Vice, and Kickoff Couture. And if you go to a school (like mine!) that doesn’t have as many options, you can even customize your own with Gameday Bae! Wearing a college hoodie is a rite of passage for many students and can make the next four years feel like a reality.
THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR
While we don’t want you to start college with the mindset that you’ll transfer next year, it is an option. Just keep in mind that there are no guarantees when it comes to applying as a transfer. While some schools like UVA are historically known for having a higher transfer acceptance rate, many others are even more selective during the transfer process than they are for first-year applicants.
That being said, if you feel that transferring is in your best interest, consider applying to schools beyond the one that denied you the previous year. And don’t forget to check out our “Should I Apply to Transfer?” checklist!