5 Questions to Ask Your Ninth Grader Right Now

Do you know what you’ll be doing 1200 days from now? Well, if you’re the parent of a current ninth grader, you’ll probably be sitting at your child’s high school graduation. Although thoughts of caps and gowns and college may seem light years away, it’s never too early to start planning for the future. In fact, ninth grade is a critical time to set your student up for college success. 

But how do you know if your ninth grader is on the path to success? Ask! Today we’re sharing 5 questions that will help you ‘check in’ with your freshman and create important college-building conversations. 

1. How are you feeling about your classes?

What did you get on that test? Did you do your homework? Well, have you asked your teacher for help? Let’s face it, sometimes parenting can feel more like project management. You may find yourself inquiring into due dates and scores just to stay ‘in the know.’ While this information is certainly handy, it might not tell you the whole academic story about your ninth grader.

Rather than framing questions that only result in a yes, no or eye roll, try a more open-ended framework. “How are you feeling about x…” is a great way to create a conversation and help your child reflect on the academic transition to high school. For example, a simple “how are you feeling about your homework load” could lead to productive discussions about time management, the need for a math tutor, or changes to after-school commitments.

2. What’s sparking your interest?

Ninth grade is a discovery year, as students begin to take new electives and get involved with activities that may not have been available to them in middle school. Check in with your child to see which subjects, clubs, and causes are engaging them. And then encourage them to explore these areas even more! For example, if your child enjoys talking about politics in their government class, suggest that they try out the debate team or attend a Model U.N. meeting.

3. How are you getting to know your teachers?

We know, we know. Some teenagers don’t even like having conversations with their parents, let alone with adults at school. However, establishing strong relationships with teachers is extremely important. Not only are these relationships proven to increase a student’s academic performance, they can be downright inspirational. We hear stories all the time from students who credit particular high school teachers for their career paths and leadership skills. 

Building connections is a great skill for students to develop early on in high school. Talk to your ninth grader about habits that can make for strong teacher relationships: participating in class, asking questions, reaching out for help, visiting teachers during study halls and free periods. These small efforts to engage go a long way!

4. What’s on your high school bucket list?

Ask a ninth grader about their goals for the next three and half years, and you’ll probably get a bewildered look in return--or an abrupt reply concerning grades. But there’s much more to the high school experience than just GPAs. Help your child start to think about the ways in which they want to get involved in the community. Have they always wanted to take center stage in a school play or learn how to play lacrosse? Can they see themselves running for student council or maybe creating a fundraiser to help their favorite cause? We love the bucket list question because it can help students get out of their comfort zones and picture the many possibilities for their high school experience.

5. What would you like to do this summer?

This may seem like a strange question to ask when we are just coming up on Thanksgiving, but hear us out. Summer is an ideal time for rising sophomores to explore their interests and begin developing the skills they’ll need for college. Luckily, there are hundreds of opportunities for 15 year olds to choose from: international excursions, enrichment courses, volunteer projects, and yes, even some internships. 

Start exploring options with your child now. Many summer programs will begin accepting applications as early as December. If you’re not sure where to look, check out the DC College Counseling Database. We regularly update our site with exciting summer experience opportunities.