Writing a letter of recommendation is a big responsibility for teachers! They know that their letters offer the admissions committee important insight into what students are like in the classroom, and can play a vital role in strengthening any application. 

Because of this, teachers take recommendation-writing seriously, and you should too! When it comes to requesting a letter, it’s important to be thoughtful and polite. A quick “hey, write my recommendation letter please” won’t cut it! 

Keep reading to learn the most polite ways to request a recommendation. Not only will your etiquette make a good impression on your teacher, it will also help ensure a high-quality letter.

Don’t make assumptions

Contrary to popular belief, a teacher is NOT required to write you a letter of recommendation. So don’t automatically assume they will. You have to officially ask, and you should definitely pop the question BEFORE you list the teacher as a recommender on your college application form. After all, the last thing you want to do is make your teacher feel pressured to write you a letter and create an awkward situation for both of you. 

Request your recommendation early

Teachers are some of the busiest people around! In addition to teaching and planning and grading, they’re likely being inundated with dozens of other requests for recommendation letters. Be respectful of your teacher’s time by asking them early. And by early, we mean by the spring of your junior year. Trust us, your teacher will greatly appreciate having the summer break to draft your letter. If you wait until the last minute, you could run the risk of the teacher declining to write on your behalf - or even worse- submitting a generic recommendation!

Ask in the right place, at the right time

Be thoughtful about when and where you ask for a letter of recommendation. If possible, talk to your teacher face-to-face. It’s more personal that way, and you won’t have to worry if your message got lost in their inbox. Also, timing is everything! Running up to your teacher right before class starts to pose such a big question is NOT a good idea. Neither is raising your hand and interrupting class with your request (yes, we’ve actually seen that happen!). Instead, plan to visit your teacher at a time when their classroom isn’t overrun with students and they’ll actually have a few minutes to chat. Not sure when they’re available? Email and ask them.

If you’re not able to meet with your teacher in-person, write them a polite email. See below for tips on how to phrase your request. 

Give them an out

Teachers love to help their students; they really do! In most cases, they’ll be happy to write a letter of recommendation. But there are times when a teacher may want to say no–and that’s a good thing! If a teacher feels like they might not be able to write you the strongest letter of recommendation, it’s important that they have an out.

To create space to give your teacher the easiest out possible, carefully phrase your request. Instead of bluntly asking “will you write me a recommendation,” shape your question like this: “Do you think you know me well enough to write me a supportive letter of recommendation?” By focusing on how well the teacher knows you, you create a polite exit strategy for your teacher if they need it while taking the pressure off of both of you. 

Provide necessary information

Once your teacher agrees to write you a letter of recommendation, ask them what they need from you. Some teachers require students to fill out an information form, and if that’s the case, complete it and return it to your teacher in a timely manner. Don’t make them have to track you down. That’s bad etiquette! 

If your teacher doesn’t give you a form, create one of your own. Write your teacher a short letter or fact sheet that highlights specific details about your personal strengths, interests, and performance in their class. This is a great way to help shape your letter without being pushy or demanding. Plus, you’ll make the writing process much easier for your teacher. We help all of our ongoing clients navigate this process and create top-quality content, but if you aren’t working with us, consider asking a trusted adult for help. You want to make sure to be accurate and extremely specific about the characteristics that describe your best self, with lots of supporting anecdotes.

Show your appreciation

It probably goes without saying, but don’t forget to thank your teacher for agreeing to write you a recommendation. Even more importantly, don’t forget to thank them AFTER they submit the recommendation, too. A lot of time and thought goes into these letters, and your teacher will appreciate you acknowledging their hard work. 

Finally, when you start receiving your acceptance letters, share the good news with your recommenders. They’ve been an important part of your college application process, and it’s good manners to make them part of the celebration as well.