It’s Thanksgiving week - almost time for turkey, football, friends, and family! Yet for seniors, this time of year can be especially challenging. They are trying to keep their grades up while teachers try to squeeze in assessments between Thanksgiving and winter breaks, and they are also juggling hundreds of emails and requests to set up portals, add optional admissions videos, and apply to additional “special programs.” Not to mention the stress and anxiety that comes with waiting on decisions!

So every year as we head into this holiday, I am reminded of the need to help seniors prepare for the onslaught of unsolicited questions and advice that comes with well-meaning visiting relatives, annual family gatherings, and uncertain notification dates. You know how it goes: Auntie Anne asks if Susie has heard from X college or Uncle Oscar asks Jimmy why he doesn’t add Oscar’s alma mater to his list “just to see what happens.” The “helpful” inquiries just pile stress on the already stressed senior.

Our advice to parents: help your son or daughter prepare a couple of polite responses, acknowledge that the comments come from a place of love and affection, and still politely end the conversation.

For example: “Thank you for asking, Auntie Anne. I’m excited to hear back from schools, too, but right now I am focusing on my classes and finishing my regular decision applications.” Responses that redirect the conversation can help the senior focus on the near future and control what she can control.

Or: “Thank you for your thoughts, Uncle Oscar. I will certainly take a look at your alma mater’s website when I get back to my applications after the Thanksgiving break.” Jimmy doesn’t commit to anything more than a quick look at the school’s website, while making it clear that he is on vacation too.

BIGGEST COLLEGE-RELATED NEWS OF THE LAST FEW WEEKS

PSAT SCORES (AND NATIONAL MERIT CUTOFF ESTIMATES) RELEASED

PSAT scores were released on November 6 or 16, depending on the date students took the test (if your student hasn’t received their score reports, have them go see their school counselor!). Check out Compass Prep’s analysis of this year's scores as well as their estimates for Commended Students and Semifinalists. It sounds like Commended Students can expect a 2 point cutoff increase, and while the Semifinalist increases vary by state, most will be in the 1-2 point range.

RISE IN NUMBERS OF EARLY APPLICATIONS

Now that the deadlines for most early applications have passed, the Common App has released preliminary data about early decision and early action numbers. According to them, early applications to member schools are up 41% over pre-pandemic numbers from 2019-2020. We will have to wait until the final application numbers are available before fully understanding the trends, but this increase may reflect a more permanent shift in students and colleges relying on early admission plans. We know from our work with students on the applications and essays that most students have quite a few early deadlines, some of which have moved to early October (and even early September for schools with rolling admissions or those that release admissions decisions in waves).

MICHIGAN SIGN-STEALING SCANDAL LEAVES HARBAUGH SUSPENDED

The Big Ten has made the decision to suspend coach Jim Harbaugh for three games as a result of the ongoing controversy relating to low-level employee Connor Stalions. Stalions is accused of attending opponents’ games in person, often disguised in the respective teams’ gear, to record their signs and signals as part of an extensive scheme to give Michigan an unfair advantage.

UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA IN FINANCIAL TROUBLE

Students applying to the University of Arizona will want to pay close attention to the recent reports of financial mismanagement - after financial predictions turned out to be wildly inaccurate, the school now admits to having only 97 days of cash on hand. President Robert Robbins has warned that “draconian cuts” may impact academic and athletic programs, salaries, and jobs.

BEST ARTICLES OF THE LAST FEW WEEKS

Georgia Tech’s Rick Clark offers advice to juniors about test-optional admissions in his recent post: Middle 50%, Test Optional (… and Country Music?) He explains that middle 50% test score ranges are not as straightforward as they used to be (neither is test-optional admissions in general!), so students need to carefully analyze the information provided. After all, what does that range even represent? Accepted students or matriculated students? He recommends students ask questions when they look at colleges and universities' middle 50% of test scores to understand whose scores are included in that figure. As you develop your standardized testing plan, make sure you understand if the schools on your list require test scores, are test-optional, are test-blind, or if they are test-optional but prefer test scores. Some schools also have different policies based on majors, so be thorough. We help all of our current clients make these decisions, so if you’re a non-client who could use some assistance, feel free to book an introductory meeting.

Are you confused about the controversy between JMU and the NCAA? This feel-good piece is definitely worth a read (Unfortunately, the NCAA denied the latest waiver request this past week, and then things took another turn over the weekend when JMU lost to Appalachian State despite breaking attendance records for ESPN’s College GameDay). Whether they get to play in a bowl or not, the cynic in me is a little bit concerned about the inevitable admissions impact after so much athletic success. And we don’t have much wiggle room - last year, applications were up over 68% from just two years prior. 68%! That’s huge.

Speaking of football, this New York Times piece on young football players with C.T.E. was incredibly moving and tragic. It’s awful to think of these poor kids suffering this way, and the recommendation to delay tackle football until high school is compelling, given the latest research.

Lastly, don’t miss Vanity Fair’s excerpt from Among the Bros: A Fraternity Crime Story by Max Marshall. Named by Amazon as a “Best Book of the Year 2023,” it covers a disturbingly extensive, multimillion-dollar underground fraternity drug ring at the College of Charleston and has been the talk of the higher education world for the past few weeks. It reads a little bit like Bama Rush meets the Murdaugh’s, and I’ve already downloaded the book to read over the holidays.

OFFICE HAPPENINGS

We’ve been busy finishing up those last-minute additions with seniors (so. many. videos. this. year!) and of course, getting ready for Thanksgiving! At Sally’s house, that looks a little different from mine, so she’s sharing a few thoughts below on the challenges of having a student home from college!

College students arrive home, often for the first time since starting the semester, and have different expectations than parents do. My priorities are about family time, hearing about her life at college, making sure she spends time with her siblings, and having fun/making memories together. On the other hand, her priorities may be relaxing, catching up on sleep, seeing her friends, more sleep, eating her favorite meals, and more sleep. She has been completely independent since Labor Day, making all the decisions about her time, her car, and her responsibilities. Suddenly, she is home and doesn’t necessarily have the same freedoms. Even to go shopping, she will have to work with our schedules to borrow a car because her own will still be at school. 

Of course we have different expectations: I am excited to have my kid home, and she is excited to be at home with her family. But even those expectations can be a mismatch. When she left for college, her younger sister had finished middle school, but now she is one-third of the way through 9th grade and has begun to exert her independence and navigate a social life of her own. College students can find it jarring that their family hasn’t frozen in time while they were away. In the same way, parents forget that their “kid” has been making adult decisions for months. The kid expects to be on vacation during break, while we parents are expecting them to jump back into family life including chores like loading the dishwasher, picking up siblings at practice, and coming home at a “reasonable time.” (This last one is definitely fraught with differing expectations!)

What have I learned from our son’s four years and our daughter’s previous two years returning for break? There is no one right way to navigate the shift, not even with the same kid in subsequent years. My advice is to acknowledge the differences beforehand (as in, during the car ride home from the airport) and to be patient with each other. As much as I want to spend time with her, I also have to remember to respect our daughter’s independence. Similarly, she has to remember to balance her need to take a real break before returning to school for final exams and to respect that she is part of a family with work, schedules, and time commitments. 

And when she thinks I am demanding too much or I think she is coming home too late, I hope we remember to give each other a little leeway as we sail these uncharted waters together.

Enjoy the Thanksgiving break!